Randoms

Because it's been literally months.  I feel like a lot has happened, but nothing has really stuck with me that I really want to write about.  Mostly because I'm still working it all out.

My sister and I did a 4 week Fat Loss Jump Start program.  We dropped good money on it.  We stuck to it like it was our religion and we would be flogged if we didn't do everything exactly.like.the plan.said.  Why?  Because we wanted change.  We wanted different results.  We also needed to be held accountable and what better way to do that than to drop money on something and have to report in weekly?  But we didn't get the results we wanted.  No, not just "didn't get the results we wanted," flat out didn't get results.  We didn't change.  Nothing changed.  Need for us to adjust our expectations?  Perhaps. Need for us to re-evaluate where we are in our fitness/health plans?  Perhaps.  Maybe just not the right program for us and time to look at something different? Perhaps.  Time to just drink more?  Perhaps.  

Then I caught myself on fire and am still healing up near third degree burns on my hand and foot (it'll be 5 weeks this Saturday).  This is a long and dramatic story that I only laugh at sometimes.   Still working all that out.  

The weather is gorgeous and spring is in the air and it makes me want to cut my hair, buy new clothes, roll the windows down, blast my music and head to the beach.  Or Disneyland.  Or both.  

I started doing acro stuff with my sister, which is awesome, but also a serious, in your face testimony to whatever trust and intimacy issues you have with yourself and other people.  Trusting my sister isn't the issue.  I do that blindly.  But having to partner with someone else, someone I don't know, sometimes a dude, and not only say, I trust you not to drop me/I trust you to touch me there, but to also reciprocate and say, I won't drop you and yes I'm going to touch you there I hope that's okay.  Because sometimes that touching means they're balancing on their shoulders with their head in between my knees, with a second person balancing on their shoulders in my hands and we are face to face.  Sometimes that trust comes from a place of basing (I won't drop you), sometimes it comes from a place of flying (please, oh my god, don't drop me).  I wasn't totally prepared for that part of it all, because I've only ever done this with my sister.  So it was a bit of a shock.  Not good, not bad, just unexpected.  

I passed my masters licensing exam.  I bought myself flowers, and we all ate pizza and drank wine to celebrate.  

I want all the red meat right now, which probably means I'm iron deficient.  Bring on the carne asada!  

Dear friends are leaving Tucson, which is horribly sad.  Dear friends are moving closer to to Arizona, which is hopeful of actually getting to see them.  

My friends' kids are starting to become little people.  Not that they were somehow "less" as babies, but they aren't babies.  They don't look like babies.  They have the faces that they will have forever.  They will grow and mature for sure, but these are their faces. They're getting old enough to start having memories, memories that they will remember as adults.  My friends don't have babies (well, some of them are still babies), my friends have kids.  That's nuts.  Nuts I tell you.  

More Randoms, Because Somehow I Missed All Of December...

I'm officially sucking at being a blogger.  I literally don't know what happened to December.  I blinked and then all of the sudden it's now 2014.  

The biggest random update I have is that my knee is officially out of commission for the next several weeks.  I thought I tore my meniscus, but my menisci are fine.  I did, however, manage to crack the cartilage above my tibia and bruise the bone.  Ortho doc thinks that either my femur hit my tibia so hard, or was hitting so much over time from heavy impact, that I cracked the cartilage and bruised the bone.  So while I'm ecstatic that I don't need surgery, my recovery plan is a lot of rest and backing off the intense work outs that I have grown to love.  Patience is not my strongest virtue, and I'm trying to not be annoyed at being told to slow down.  

I'm still working out what New Year resolutions I want to write down and commit to.  Some of them are ongoing "resolutions" that just need to be refreshed and revisited (like having more patience).  Others are new and I'm trying to figure out how I want it all to look and feel this year and what I want to get out of it.  I have long since decided that resolutions should not be about deprivation or sacrifice, but rather about adding something you want to your life or getting more out of life.  For starters one of my resolutions is to spend at least one evening a week not in front of the TV.  That way I can read more, see my husband who works crazy hours, go on more walks etc.   I have a nightstand full of books that I want to read and now I'm going to make it a priority.  The others I'm still working out all the details, but I'm not in any hurry to hastily come up with a goal without a plan and then wonder why I didn't achieve it.  That's kind of another on going resolution: to be more... flowy... as in going with the flow more.  My anxiety can get away with itself and I find comfort in taking control over things, and at this point it becomes a question of chicken or the egg.   

So for now, here's to more deep breaths, more reading, more walks, and adjusted priorities.  

Randoms. Why? 'Cuz it's been forever that's why...

1. I've been working and not blogging.  Obvi.  I really like work though.  And I really like my team and I really like my boss.  And considering the last boss I had was, well, not this current boss, that says a lot.  

2. I have a million pictures on my phone of food that I want to post about, but some of them are so old I don't even know what dish they're of anymore.  

3. Somehow next week is Thanksgiving.  My mind still can't wrap itself around that one.

4. I bought a car.  It was both tragic and awesome.  More on that later.

5. For the last 10.5 months, Juan and I have sat down and talked about what DIY home project we want to do every.goddamn.weekend.  We still haven't picked one yet and I think we're finally at that point where a random picture or a swatch is going to get painted somewhere just to say we're doing something.  Mid week we always say how we want this to be different and how we want to decorate and feel like homeowners, but we don't want to do something without a lot of thought and just change it in a few years.  Well what's wrong with changing things in a few years, every couple of years we'll probably want to DIY again.  And round and round the convo goes.  We're kind of in this weird place of wanting do stuff cheaply and now like we did in our various apartments, and wanting to shell out the money for the good stuff because we're not in college anymore, but oh my god when you price out the good stuff you die a little inside.  Champagne taste on a beer budget is hard to balance out when you don't know where to look or how to do it.  And we don't really yet.  

6. Which brings us to this random tid bit, I went to my first yard sale the other week and got a million (okay half a dozen) things for ONE DOLLAR.  As in single dollar.  As in uno.  I now find myself wanting to randomly pull over for yard sale signs I see as we drive by.  Very good friends of ours have also agreed to take us to various estate sales to get awesome stuff and teach us how to refurbish them.  

7. Target lets you mix and match lamp bases and shades and I put together this fabulous little lamp with a purple base and a beige-ish sparkly top.  I considered going more neutral and grown up and then I was like, fuck it.  It's my friggen lamp that I'm only getting one of because it's my bedside-reading-lamp.  So purple and sparkles it is!  

8. I went to my first ever craft party at another very good friend's house and made about half a dozen paper cranes for the host's daughter and drank a bunch of wine.  Because I don't craft.  "Oh that would have been a perfect opportunity to put something small together for the house!" Yes, I know.  Pulling up those Pinterest boards though gave me a heart attack and so I turned my crafting into making cookies and two different kinds of salsa. 

9. I have less than a month with my current mobile carrier and I could not be happier.  I have been counting down the days to ditch this crap service and get myself an iPhone!  All my little apple devices synced onto my cloud!  Seamless transferring of data!  I can't wait!

10.  We watch SO much TV.  Well, the TV is on a lot, whether or not we're watching it is something different, because we're usually working or cooking or talking.  We still dislike how much the TV is on though.  So we've decided that one night a week (starting small) no TV when we get home, and instead we will continue with our work or conversations and when we would normally fill the extra time with an episode of Once Upon a Time or Bones, we will fill that time with reading.  I think this might be the coolest thing we've done lately because we both keep saying how we want to read more and we both have a lengthy list of books we want to read and now we're going to do it.  It's nice to feel like we're starting something and sticking to it, especially since right now we feel like we're swimming in circles with the house.  

Birthdays

Today's is the hubs' Name Day!  Some odd years ago today the amazing, sexy man beast of a husband of mine was born.  We've been together for the last seven years and I'm still amazed how lucky I got.  He's kind, and caring, he hugs kittens and puppies, he let's me have the last bite of desert, he let's me pick what to watch on TV, he finishes the laundry I start and then forget about, he remembers my birthday and our anniversary, he's even been known to draw me hot bubble baths just because.  He's generous and ambitious and humble and wise and even after he's busted his ass at an often 12-13 hour work day, he still manages to come home and find the energy to try to make me smile and laugh and dip and kiss me.  He reins in my crazy when I just can't manage it, his patience picks up when my runs out, and he has somehow managed to survive the last 7 clumsy years with yours truly relatively unscathed.  He has saved me from countless bugs, has changed out the battery to my car in the sweltering summer heat - in his work clothes mind you - so that I can go about my day and not wait the several hours for our tow service.  He doesn't even laugh at me when I tell him that I managed to convince myself that there were zombies outside our garage and so I had to get in the car and lock the door before I could open the garage door so that I would be ready to run them over and not get eaten while trying to get in my car.  

Happy birthday, Juan.  Thanks for letting me tag long for the ride.  Love you like woah.  

Swimming

This post feels really de ja vous or however it is spelled so apologies if I've written about it before.  

Anyways, with my time off this summer, I've spending quite a bit of time pool side.  The community pool in my neighborhood has a 25m section and while earlier in the summer it was always packed with kids and their families making it impossible for lap swimming (we have no lane lines or a designated lap time), now that the kiddos are back in school (it's year round school where I live) and I have had the pool all to myself, or close to it.  

Some things that haven't changed:

1) Swimming still comes naturally to me.  Even after not swimming for a couple years I can slip into the water and it feels as comfortable and as natural as reconnecting with a dear old friend or putting on a pair of jeans that never fail you.  

2) Water (to clarify, pool water not deep, dark, can't see the bottom open water) is still amazingly soothing to me.  Astrologically I am an air sign (traits: aloof, clumsy, desire for change, social, flexible, communicative, etc), but according to Asian calendars I was born under element of fire (traits: passionate, go-getters, intuitive, enthusiastic, leapers before thinking, fighters, power/strength, fast thinkers/doers etc - all of which can be used for destructive purposes or rebirth - think Pele).  Ayurvedically I also have a lot of pitta, or heat/fire, in me (self-confident, physical strength, gets irritated if they have to miss a meal (Juan calls this part of me The Hulk), assertive, competitive, physically runs hot, tends to have skin and digestive issues etc).  Taking into consideration that my strongest element, by far, is fire followed closely by air (let's all take a moment to acknowledge how air fuels fire), my pitta tendencies, and the fact that I live in the goddamn desert, it is no wonder that I find water grounding and soothing, and, well, cooling.  When I get anxious or nervous plunging my hands into ice cold water has a very calming effect on me.  Even when I get sick all I want is a nice cool wash cloth on my face or neck.  Submerging my entire body into cool water when I go swimming is pure bliss.  Floating around, allowing the water to come up around my ears so that the world is muffled and all I can hear is my breathing, instantly slows me down.  My brain just kinda goes quiet, my body becomes graceful and elegant moving through the water instead of my usual, fiercely annoying special brand of clumsy.  Needless to say, water is an elemental way of balancing myself and literally cooling my naturally heated system.  

3) I can still choke under water.  I know this is the reason why many people do not like to put their face in the water, and maybe it's because I feel so grounded and calm and comfortable in the water, but I've never felt like I was going to drown (save one time at the beach when I was very small hence my issues with deep, dark, open water).  When I swam competitively it was pretty much inevitable that you were going to inhale/swallow a gross amount of pool water.  In a race when that happens you don't stop.  Hell, even in practice, you didn't stop.  In fact, you do the opposite of what you might think and stick your face in the water and cough, hard, until you get the water out and then take a big refreshing gulp of air at your next stroke.  

4) In addition to being able to choke under water, there are other little tricks I learned from my swim days.  Like pulling my cap back down during a flip turn.  Flip turns, period.  Form - elbows stay nice and high on that freestyle.  Creating that little pocket of air to breathe right above your shoulder but under your chin with your stroke.  How to put a cap on without help.  That perfect, snug fit of your goggles to ensure no water leakage.  Tying bikinis up in ways so that they don't fall off.  

5) Breast is still by far my worst stroke.  Always has been, pretty sure it always will be.  Freestyle I've always been strong in, as well as fly.  While my endurance is shot with fly, my stroke is still spot on.  Since we don't have lane lines and no flags I didn't even bother attempting back.  Chances are I would have ended up beaching myself on the wading pool side in the shallow end.  

6) I can also still hear my coach yelling at me every time I breathe coming off a flip turn.  I can hear my coach making strange noises whenever my head would bob up during breast stroke.  I can also hear my mother getting "Just keep swimming" a la Dory from Finding Nemo stuck in my head.  I can also see my friend/teammate Megan counting down my distance swims for me as supposed to counting up on the laps.  Something I still prefer to do in my head.  
Things that have changed:

1) Obviously endurance.  Cardio exercises and even strength doesn't translate over from one medium or modality to another.  Each activity is unique in its own way and if you want to be good at a specific exercise you have to do that specific exercise to create the strength, endurance and power needed for it.  

2) I kick now!  I used to not kick unless I was doing fly because all my power came from my kick.  Otherwise my feet just kinda half heartedly and lazily fluttered behind me.  I kick now.  

3) I cannot spend hours in the sun without copious amounts of sunscreen applied multiple times.  When I was a kid and spent literally every day of summer pool side for a good 6hours at a time, I only ever put sunscreen on my face.  By the time school started I was so brown it looked like I spent my summer on some tropical island and was actually a native of there.  I'm still that brown now (for the first time since I was a kid) but now I have to lather on the sunscreen head to toe every hour that I am at the pool/in the sun or I burn.  I have two theories on this.  First, melanin apparently is like muscles in that you use it or lose it.  Since I am no longer spending all my time outside, my skin doesn't protect itself as well as it used to.  Second, I practically live on the face of the sun and am convinced that there is less ozone here in the desert and so the sun is literally more intense here than it is elsewhere.  

So after all that word vomit, this summer has reminded me how much I love water and how, in a way, I need it in my life.  So, babe, this is your fair warning that I want a pool in our backyard if we don't live in a place with a community pool.  

My Little Pink Book

So, I'm forgetful.  Really.  It's the running family joke that I can't leave the house in one shot because I have to come back at least once to get something I've forgotten.  Prom, good lord.  My poor mothers were constantly having to drive sometimes an hour out of their way to bring me things like the boutonniere, my make up, and even more essentially, my bra.  Things haven't really changed.  My dear husband has learned to just run through a checklist of things I am always asking him to turn around for.  "Have your keys?  Your phone?  Your wallet?  Your head?"  It extends into other parts of my life as well.  I can verbalize out loud the need to do something as soon as I get home, hell, I can be in the car driving home and verbalize that, and still forget to do it when I get home.  Grocery store, friggen night mare.  

As a means of coping with my forgetfulness, I make lists.  People make fun of my lists that I make when I pack for a trip, but let me tell you, it saves us the trouble of having to call in needed prescriptions or having to run to the store to buy essentials like toothpaste or underwear.  I menu plan for the week and make a grocery list based on that menu and sometimes I still forget something. 

I've downloaded a bunch of notepad apps and list apps and stuff like that on my pone to help with my lists.  I use them for a couple weeks and then I stop.  Not because they were ineffective, but, honestly, because I got sick and tired of always having to unlock my phone and pull the list up.  I went back to paper lists, which I know is not environmentally friendly, but there is something incredibly convenient about just having a list and a pen in your hand and being able to check things off as you go, no unlocking, no black out screens, no timing out of anything.  

While this system worked really well for groceries, messages and to dos were still getting lost in my head because I had no way to write them down.  After my friend Jil posted about her little book that she carries around with her everywhere specifically for things like this, I went out and bought one of my own.  

It's amazing.  I keep it with me whenever I leave the house, I even keep it close by when I'm at home so that when anything pops into my head I can write it down.  I haven't forgotten anything in the going on two weeks that I've had it!  I haven't completely figured out the system I'm going to use in it yet, but it is so damn helpful.  I got a voicemail and listened to it in the grocery store parking lot and boom, written down in my little pink book and it was taken care of.  I was cooking and realized I was short on some spices, boom, written down in my little pink book and I remembered to get some when I went to the store next.  Sappho needs more HeartGuard, boom, written down in my little pink book to get in a couple weeks and just seeing my little pink book reminds me that I need to go buy some.  

AND, and this is probably the coolest thing so far, it's gotten me back in the habit of writing, which is making me journal more, and that's always a good thing.  

Bonus: it even has a great little accordion pocket in the back!  

Chocolate Banana "Ice Cream"

My mom sent me an email a while ago about some homemade ice cream she made and it kinda got me jonesin' for a delicious, creamy, frozen deliciousness.  Sorbet is great, but super high in sugar.  Ice cream is doable if I don't mind spending the rest of the day in the bathroom.  So, thanks to Pinterest, I found a super easy recipe that involves all Kat-friendly ingredients.  

Chocolate Banana "Ice Cream"

2 bananas, pre cut, and frozen
1 cup almond milk
1 tbspn cocoa powder

Step 1: I neglected to pre-cut and peel my bananas before I froze them.  It wasn't impossible to to peel them and cut them afterwards, but I couldn't feel my fingertips for a while.  So make it easier on yourself.  

Step 2: In a blender, dump all those ingredients in there (it was suggested by some friends to use either honey or cinnamon for some extra flavor, but that's up to you) and mix on high.  It should come out as thick smoothie consistency

Step 3: Place in a bowl and freeze for a couple more hours until totally solidified

Step 4: Grab spoons and enjoy

It's heavy on the banana taste for sure, but I love bananas so I don't mind it.  It freezes a lot... harder???... than ice cream so I definitely recommend leaving the frozen, finished product out on the counter to thaw a little bit before digging in with a spoon.  It's not as sweet as ice cream, but it definitely scratched the ice cream itch.